Reflections: My Sanctuary

Dominique Jacobs
Jul 25, 2017
5 min read

My Sanctuary

It's been a trying week, but for some reason I've got this unshakable feeling of gratitude. I guess it's because I've been through alot worse and I know how bad it can get...and we're not there. I'm not sure why the Universe is constantly testing me, maybe because it also allows immense blessing and opportunity to come my way? I think it must be the price to pay in order for me to reach heights and have experiences that many won't ever. At any rate, this week: I AM GRATEFUL.

When I first moved back to Victoria in April of this year to resume my studies, I lived with my baby in a tiny hotel room. There was barely enough space to turn around but we were safe; we had a roof over our heads and food to eat. I traveled to campus from the hotel on the bus, early in the morning, often in the pouring rain with my baby and stroller ...thinking back I can say it wasn't easy but we made it fun, like an adventure -the best part being that we were together. I know she won't remember us cuddled up in that queen size bed that took up most of the room and me cooking our meals on a little hot plate, but I will never forget how brave she was and how we've conquered all of "the spaces" that we've inhabited during her short life.

The fear struck shortly after starting classes, that we were homeless. Upon calling a certain housing agency (and I called them all) the lady on the other end of the line asked me: "Didn't you know we have a housing crisis in the city of Victoria?" That did the opposite of bolster hope; I felt desperate, panicked and wondered if I had made the right decision coming back and trying to finish my program on campus? I could've chosen the easy way out and stayed in the townhouse that I own with my dad in Toronto while completing my program online. What have I done? Will my baby and I be out on the streets? Will we have to live in a shelter after this month at the hotel? Is there really nothing in my price range to rent in this city? Things were looking bleak.

There were a couple of days that I had to skipped class and pounded the pavement, busing from one end of the city to the other to look at apartments. Nothing was right. Everything was overpriced. Running out of time with my feet tired and sore, at the end of another long day of fruitless searching, I sat down -dejected. With an exhausted sigh, I pulled out my dying phone and went back online -one last time. As I scrolled, furiously, with the remaining glimmer of hope that I had, I saw a new ad pop up: Colwood, brand new 2 bed/2 bath corner suite. I exclaimed, "Jade, this is our home!" I called the number listed immediately, the man who I spoke to told me that the tenant who was supposed to rent the suite had backed-out last minute and the condo just became available again. The next morning we saw the place and signed the lease. Here we are two months later, safe and happy in our very own home. I even have a little sanctuary (brave Princess Jade pictured above enjoying the sanctuary in Mommy's boss lady chair). Through all the adversity, I am grateful because we are truly blessed. We have a fabulous view from "the sanctuary" which, you can see from the pictures, is our little balcony.

Lola, my ruby-ball cactus lives out there and protects us from all incoming dark forces. I introduced you to her in my first video. She is my reminder to stay calm because as a cactus needs virtually nothing to stay alive, it is my reminder to simplify. We often think we need so much more than we do to function and we also take on so much extra stress when the solution is simple. Her ruby ball is a beacon of peace and simplicity. Lola reminds me to chill, take a deep breath and keep it simple. I am grateful to her too.

Week Two: Carla Funk and The Social Location Flower

I didn't speak about the Social Location Flower in my video. I had alot to discuss and reflect upon that was deeply personal in this week's Learning Journal video, so allow me to briefly outline the experience and learning that came out of the flower exercise. It did bring up some important questions, perhaps I will be able to shed some light on those questions as the class progresses.

Pictured to the left is the Social Location Flower that we drew as a team in class. We were able to identify the ways in which people are judged or classified quickly by choosing the following 11 categories from the example (in no particular order of importance):

1. Location --------> Toronto

2. Religion --------- >Christianity

3. Ethnicity ---------> Caucasian

4. Age -------->40-55 years

5. Financial Independence/Wealth ------> Wealthy (Millionaire)

6. Gender --------> Male

7. Education ---------> Graduate level: MA/ MBA

8. Cultural Identity --------->multi-generational Canadian (non- First Nations)

9. Family ---------> Head of Household/breadwinner

10. Sexual Orientation -------->Heterosexual

11. Class ----------> Upper-class

I've linked the categories of identity to what we believe to be the most powerful groups within those categories in Canada. It deeply reflects Collier's Critical perspective in that it: "It pays particular attention to the societal structures and institutions that constrain identities and are often the root of injustice and oppression." It seems as though it is still a "white man's world" in 2017, but is this changing?

This exercise has left me with more questions than answers, here goes:

I'm wondering how many other groups came up with something similar? Is this the "norm"? How long has it been this way? And will it change? If so, how long will it take to change these power structures?

And finally -most importantly, where does this leave me? Well the first question was: How do people perceive you at first glance? This is what I came up with:

1. Female

2. Person of Color/ or simply "Black"

3. Overweight (since I got pregnant, I never was this heavy, ever!)

4. Older (Middle-aged)

5. Smart

The second question was: How do others perceive me? My team came up with the following:

1. Busy

2. Engaged -good listener

3. Smart

4. Positive energy/positivity

5. Encouraging

This was all well and good but when it comes to the Social Location Flower, how do I bloom? This is what I came up with:

I chose the five most defining categories from my team's list: Race, Age, Gender, Class and Sexual-orientation. I didn't fare well because in 3/5 categories I'm identified as "weak" or powerless. This Social Location exercise is interesting but it didn't uncover anything I didn't already know. It only furthered my established knowledge and propelled me to question the system and if/when it will change/be changed.

My apologies for the background noise in this week's video. I had turned a movie on for Jade but she insisted to sit outside with me. Anxious to get my video recorded, I didn't turn off the movie before I started, so those sounds, plus baby squeals is what you'll hear. It's a work in progress...next week will be better as this week was from last week.

Here's a peek at my dad's visit: